Movin’ On Up

23 12 2008

Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope I am not brought to violence by the end of the season, as I am holing up with my family in the mountains for the next few days.  I plan on pulling streamers on the S. Holston while most are cuddled up with their loved ones and I am not planning on apologizing for it (except to my wife who is left alone with my family while I fish). The other big news is that wifey and I are moving to Asheville after the first of the year.  This has been on the books for a while but she just found out that she got a great job up there, so now she can continue to support me and my fishing addiction in the manner that I have  grown accustomed to over the years.  I will now only be 20 minutes from the closest trout water instead of two hours.  I can’t even describe how much this is going to rule, and by mean rule I mean, “FUCKING RULE”.  So as I say my goodbyes to Charlotte for the last time I will leave you with a quote from a classic, “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you. I’m out.”  Cuban B, Half Baked

(Sorry for the sailor talk but the holidays bring out the worst in this non-practicing Jew Agnostic)


New Scott S4…Test Drive In the Park….Sketchiness In The Park

18 12 2008

Got my new Scott S4 and figured I would go to the park to test it out.  I live 2 minutes from a couple of parks and as I have free time, I occasionally take my hula hoop to the park and practice casting in the middle of the day.  On most occasions I have the park to myself and don’t have to deal with gapers asking me what I am doing (translation: my casting sucks and I am horribly ashamed).  So with my new rod, I left the house at 2:00 on a Wednesday afternoon and arrived at the first park only to find someone sitting in a car at the softball field.  These parks are by no means in the best neighborhood and needless to say you won’t find my lily white ass anywhere near them after dark as I gave up my crack habit a long time ago.  So I measured what the risk of me getting gang raped by the local toughs was and decided on my backup park.  Upon arrival at the second park I find a a dude in a van backed into a space ready for a quick getaway.  Now at this point I immediately think child molester…right? (Pedovan)  I have fishing buddies with vans and I have nothing against them but you can ask any of them and they will tell you that I give them an uninterrupted flow of shit concerning the likelihood that they will get pulled over as soon as the next Amber Alert goes out.  I digress….since I am not a child, and actually a Sasquatch-like man, I figured I was safe to get out of the car and give the new rod a rogering.  I am not an expert caster and if I hit one out five casts over 50 feet I am feeling pretty good.  With this qualifier I love my new S4 and am thinking about naming my first child S (the 4 would just be creepy).  I think the rod is as fast as anyone can hope for and I can really rocket line with it.  I am planning on using this rod as my dry fly tailwater rod and feel that it will be the perfect rod for those tough long casts that fishing from the boat often requires when the trout are wary.  I am not an expert on tapers, modulus’, or anything else of that nature but I know what I like and I like this rod.  This my first Scott and I am more than impressed by the little things they do like the measurement ticks on the rod or the alignment dots on the ferrules.  I had never thought of this before but I can’t argue with the practicality and the clever design of these features.  All in all I think my new rod and I will become fast friends and to those of you out there that are van guys…don’t hang out in parks in the middle of the day… you already look sketchy enough with the van.

Daddy Got A New Rod

17 12 2008

My newly ordered Scott S4 has arrived and I am off to the park to make sweet love to it for the first time.  (I hope it’s gentle)  I have also added some blogs I find hysterical and informative to the blog roll.  I will no doubt write about the new rod as it will become my new best friend.

East TN and Guerilla Fishing The Spawn

16 12 2008

So my wife was responsible for throwing a baby shower in Kentucky last week.  I left twenty minutes after she did with the boat in tow on my way to the wild wacky world of Eastern Tennessee.  My plan was to fish for three days and reward myself for a whole year of unemployment and my reversion back to student life.  Unfortunately the weather had a different idea and when I arrived  the Watauga was chocolate milk so floating went down the crapper.  I feared this may happen and worked out the South Holston as a backup.  I, like everyone else around here, have been drooling over some of the monstrous brown trout that have been coming out of this river system in the past month.  I know these fish are being caught while either spawning or on the pre-spawn.  I did not however realize that fishing for these browns has turned into a complete shitshow.  I am not a purist or a fly fishing ethicist but this has become less like fly fishing and more like redbirds lined up trying to snag kokanee with grappling hooks when they draw down a lake.  (Which is truly a site to behold and one that I highly recommend) I do believe that if a river system in this day and age is lucky enough to have fish that naturally reproduce in it the resource should be protected.  To me this means I won’t fish on redds because I don’t think i would enjoy someone mouth hooking let alone snagging me while I am trying to make sweet fish love to my special hen.  This part of it aside there is nothing that appeals to me about fishing egg patterns shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of other dudes that have let the prospects of the trophy photo outweigh the parts of the sport that drew me to it in the first place including the challenge, the solitude, and the all around undouchiness that is supposed to be flyfishing.  I say catch a 10 lb. brown during the summer and maybe we’ll talk.  I watched the circus at the weir dam for a while and then promptly moved down to big springs and pulled streamers the rest of the day.  The water clarity was zero and as I am unfamiliar with this section so wading was sketchy and snags were plentiful.  Needles to say I have officially put in my skunk on the South Holston.  Humbling? Yes. Feelings of low self worth? Maybe.  Fishing tomorrow? Of course.  After crying myself to sleep in the fetal position I awoke, put on my big boy pants and headed out for my bread and butter, the Watauga River. But that is a story for another day.  I will say, for any one who cares, there is no one fishing it right now (3 boats on the water) and the BWO’s are lockin and poppin.  Shake and bake!

A Whole Lot of Bullshit and a Little Fishing

3 12 2008

Well folks, it has been a while and not a whole lot in the way of fishing has been going on.  I was supposed to float the Tuckaseegee River the week before Thanksgiving.  I had it all planned out, Duke Power is generating…they just put an assload of fish in the river…got another guide from the shop who wants to learn how to row…just got my new Kelly Gallop streamer concoctions in…fucking great day.  Unfortunately events conspired against me as they always seem to.  We got to the river early and found that the water was down which was no problem because the schedule called for 10:30 generation and it was only 11:00.  I figured I would go ahead and get the shuttle taken care of.  Turns out the shuttle guy has come down with a wicked case of dysentery or Ebola (it was a toss up).  After insisting on shaking my hand he informed me that it had been coming out of both ends all night and day.  We could, however, use his truck at the end of the day to go pick up our truck at the put in.  The only problem with this plan was we would have to change the flat on his truck.  Fine, at least we were gonna get to throw streamers at a bunch of big fish…right?….WRONG!  The no good, low down, dirty third world whores of a power company never turned the water on.  We salvaged the day by catching some fish wading.  They were hitting the normal DH stuff, buggers, hare’s ears, eggs, etc.  To top off the day however I had to go through a police check point on the way home which, even at the age of thirty, still makes me feel like I am 16 and they are gonna find something.  So that was the last day of fishing I got in and you know what?….It wasn’t half bad.   Going somewhere for a few days next week and hopefully get that giant brown I so richly deserve this season.