Feast or Famine

15 04 2009

It has been a busy week of fishing here in Bent Rod World where every fish leaves completely satisfied with the encounter.  The Caddis hatch is on in E. Tennessee and things are getting silly.  This isn’t just any Caddis hatch but the big daddy Black Caddis hatch on the Watauga River. This is the time of year that epic days are made and the past few have not disappointed.  


Ryan and I met up with both boats, wives, friends, and my dog, Traveler, in tow.  The expectations were high as the day was bluebird and the bugs were out in full force.  We saw huge numbers of Black Caddis in a size 12, early Sulfurs in a size 14, BWO’s, and midges.  The trout on the other hand must have been wrecked from a late night kegger because the first 6 hours were slow…real slow.  

The dog and I learning a lesson in futility.

The dog and I learning a lesson in futility.

Angela, Ryan’s wife, once again proved that she is the Shera (don’t act like you don’t know who Shera is,  He-Man’s rockin’ hot mistress of the cartoon world…hello?) of piscatorial pursuits.   I saw another emasculation developing and was none too happy about it.  

Angela, surveying her vast fishy kingdom which she rules with an iron fist.

Angela, surveying her vast fishy kingdom which she rules with an iron fist.

We rolled into the “ledges” section feeling as if somebody had run over the dog. I am not a man that easily gives up however (my academic, social, and business life being the exceptions). I gritted my teeth, cursed the gods, re-rigged the rod with a soft hackle pheasant tail and let out a barbaric yop, “Not again, no not again Lord. I am a man, I am a man!” Well I guess the big guy was smiling down on this godless heathen on a beautiful Easter Sunday because the trout started eating in my favorite manner…recklessly.  


My wife Lindsey giving Leroy, the brown trout, a good old fashioned bum rubbing.

My wife Lindsey giving Leroy, the brown trout, a good old fashioned bum rubbing.

We all proceeded to catch them hand over fist till there were big shit eating grins all around (except for my friend Greg who must have missed 30 strikes and long distance handshaked at least that many fish in half an hour…stupid bastard. The last six hours were forgotten as if they happened a million years ago.  

Yours truly with colored up bow who was stupid enough to fall victim to a guy like me.

Yours truly with colored up bow who was stupid enough to fall victim to a guy like me.

It always amazes me how a turn in the action can erase the majority of the day’s frustrations and bring me down from the proverbial ledge.  Everyone left that day tired but fulfilled…that is till  Tuesday.





With the Caddis hitting, we decided it was just too good to stay away. Murphy made the trek down from the wilderness that is West Virginia and it was on again. We put in around 11:00am with one thing in mind… an epic day.  Once again we were not disappointed. The first hole coughed up 5 or 6 fish in fifteen minutes.  At this point we realized all we could do was put on our big boy pants and hold on.

Ryan striking a pose with Leroy.  Artistic ain't it?

Ryan striking a pose with Leroy. Artistic ain't it?

 It seemed like every trout in the river was looking up and more than willing to fling themselves at our dry flies in kamikaze fashion.  At some point one of us commented that we must have boated 50 fish between us. That was only 3/4 of the way through the float, and the last quarter of the float might have been the most fruitful (I have been trying to work the word fruitful into my everyday vocabulary as I believe it has nice ring to it. Say it with me…Fruitful…see).  The scariest part about this whole day was that it was in the 50s and rainy — I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if the sun had come out for more than fifteen minutes. Mind blowing to say the least.  


Murphy and Ryan are back on the river today (lucky bastards), as I am around the house finishing up finals, catching up on my blogging, and generally itching junky style to get back on the river as soon as possible. Next week the crew is heading to the North Fork of the White River, in the Show Me State of Missouri. We are going to do some filming, chase some tail (trout  and bass to be specific), and eat some corn (I guess that’s what you do in Missouri?).  All I have to say is that I am going to do my best to see if there is any truth behind these farmer’s daughter jokes I have been hearing (Wifey, I am only joking, I could never be attracted to a luscious, milky, corn-raised farm girl..seriously never…I love you, Honey).

Spring is Springing

24 03 2009

The smell of spring is in the air and I am taking a big  ‘ol wiff.  Much like the budding trees and returning songbirds, I feel a stirring in my loins that marks the end of the winter doldrums and the beginning of bugs hatching and our fishy friends rising.  There is truly no better time of year to be a grad student and guide without a 9-5 to go to.  I have been guiding the delayed harvest lately with a couple of tailwater floats thrown in there. Lady luck has been my bitch lately as all my clients  have been drinking at the plentiful trout waters that WNC and E. Tennesee have to offer.  I have found a couple of hours to fish on my own which leads me to my parable for the day children, a tale of two fisherman.  Our story begins with a float on the Watauga with a “dude” from the neighborhood.   This guy is not a fly fisherman but does occasionally enjoy dipping his big toe in the salt with full spinning gear attached.  He shows up at my house an hour late with the bait chuckers in tow.  I am an asshole by many standards but one thing that I am a stickler about is being punctual,  this rule is punishable by testicle tugging when it comes to fishing.  I am new to town and can’t afford to dismiss folks on minor transgressions though so I moved on.  The day’s fishing was somewhat slow as rain had brought the river to nearly unfishable conditions in terms of color and flow.  The lull in the action provide for some interesting conversation that I won’t go into but will say there is no story sadder then when his whore of an ex-wife cheats on him him with his  shit head of a best friend.  A couple of fish were molested but some truly deep emotions were tickled and  came out to play.

A couple of days after that another guide in the shop and I went to scout out some delayed harvest and wild water.  He showed up at the shop ten minutes late (which is early amongst most guides I know) and we set out.  The topics discussed were mostly fishing related and the only time the subject of women was brought up was when his girlfriend called to inform us that she had  stuck a 15lb. rainbow on the private trout club her family belongs to.  (I understand that this last sentence has made some of you moist as it did me writing it)

Well two very different days with two very different folks. I am going to rise above judgement here and  say that they were two days on the river that were still better than anything else I could have been doing that day.  Floating Sunday and will post something after that

How did I wind up a blogger?

18 11 2008

Hello internet users.  This is not a porn site.  Let me repeat this to you sickos there is no porn here except for the occasional fishy kind.  Let me clarify that as well, by fishy I mean trout you degenerates.  Well now that that’s out of the way I figured in my first post I would pontificate on the factors that have lead to this blog.  I am thirty years old and have recently found myself devoid of employment.  So I did what any responsible adult would do, I went back to graduate school and re-dedicated my life to the timeless art of fooling fish with feathers and fur.  I am now a guide as well as a sales rep for Hog Island Driftboats.  This blog is a product mostly of me having nothing better to do than fish and talk about fishing.  I fish mostly tailwaters and will provide reports whenever I go fishing.  I will also senselessly rail against Hyde, Clacka, and Orvis just because I have the feeling that they think they are better than me.  This is not based on fact but mainly on a feeling I get like they are talking shit as soon as I leave the room.  I am naturally paranoid.   I am no expert by any means but have acquired some knowledge and opinions on some things.  I will occasionally write about these just because I want to and I enjoy reading my own words because I am sure no one is reading this.  I will also embarrass as many of my friends and fishing buddies as possible so that their shame on the rivers will live on in posterity for the ages through the world wide web.  I leave you today with the ubiquitous fish porn picture from my trip to the Yellowstone area this summer.  (I know mine is kind of small for porn but It’s all I got.)dsc00263